A Glossary of Made Up Curse Words

Naughty

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Fandapossum – Noun  (Fan-Da-Poss-Um)

Definition: A disorganized whifferninny who never brings all their equipment to practice/tournaments and is always asking for screws or a spare blade.

Example: “Oh you’re going to ask me to borrow my crap again? Bring your own you stupid bucktoothed fandapossum. Honey, bring me my shotgun. I’m going to put this rabid whifferninny  foondanglin’ fandapossum out of his charderchap pippytrankin’ misery.”

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Charderchap Pippytranker – nounjective – (char-der-chap pip-pee-train-ker)

Definition: One who does not try his best and puts forth lazy, slothful, minimal effort at the expense of himself.

Example: “You’re going too slow with your footwork, YOU CHARDERCHAP PIPPYTRANKER.”

Codfersot – noun – (cod-fur-sott):

Definition: a fencer who gets too full of themselves and starts arguing with the ref on nearly every point.

Example 1: “It sure was funny when that foondanglin’ codfersot kept arguing over a yellow card and ended up getting a red card because of it.”

Example 2: ” That FOONDANGLIN CHARDERCHAP PIPPYTRANKIN CODFERSOT WAS MORE CONCERNED WITH BEING A WHINEY WHIFFERNINNY THAN A FÜNDERGÜNST!”

Duzafizz – nounjective – (Doot-zuh-fizz)

Definition: The sensation of hostility and aggravation resulting from a bad/inconsistent call(s), followed by an insufficient explanation for the call(s), and ending in the desire to want to murder the referee, and simultaneously the exam, and its grader for passing such a foondanglin’ whiffer ninny.

Example: Person 1 – “What happened in that bout, man? Did you lose focus or something?” Person 2 – “Duzafizz.”

Foondangle- verb – (foon-dayne-gle):

Definition: It’s like the F-Word. But I’m not going to say the F-word because I promised my followers I wouldn’t curse anymore. But the thing is, you can’t say “Foondangle you.” It’s best used in its gerund form, of “foondangling.”

Example: “My point control sucks and I can’t put the tip on that foondangling fencer for the life of me.”

 

Fündergünst – noun – (Foon-dare-goonst): 

Definition: One who is a badass in the sport of fencing.

Example: “That Adam Watson is one hell of a Fündergünst. He went 5-1 in pools in Heideheim!”

 

Poodersnout – noun (poo – dur – snout)

Definition: A boisterous fencer who thinks extremely highly of himself when he is not so good at all.

Example: “Johnny won the county championship of redneckadoo county, won his E2014 and told everyone he was going to qualify for the Rio Olympics. What a poodersnout!”

 

Sislaf  – noun – (Sis-laf)

Definition: The fencing muggle who, after hearing about the fact that you do the greatest sport in the world, must consequently say “en garde” and do the worst Inigo Montoya impression ever, and make an ass of himself as he mocks the en garde position and does goofy-assed footwork like a charderchap pippytrankin’ whifferninny.

Example: “You fence?! En garde!! Is it hard? Wait, does it hurt?! Nevermind, you guys have that little red ball on the end!” – What a Sislaf

Stojkhammer – noun – (Stoyk-ham-mer)

Definition: A stojkhammer  is when you get flicked on the knuckle at the base of your thumb and the whifferninny doesn’t even do it right, he caused you all that goddamn misery and didn’t even get a foondanglin’ point
Example: Julian Raul is the king of stojkhammers.

Whifferninny – noun – (Whiff-fur-ninn-knee)

Definition: An athlete, parent, coach, or referee who is an a$$hole in the sport of fencing. Best paired with “Foondangling.”

Example: “Parents who get black carded for threatening referees are nothing short of foondanglin’ whifferninnies.”

Yergle – verb – (Yer-gul):

Definition: To mercillesly beat the crap out of someone with an epee.

Example:  “That bro came out the gate and yergled the hell out of me 15-0 with his toe touch.”

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